E.B. White sent the above as a response to joining President Eisenhower’s Committee of the Arts and Sciences.

When you establish a boundary, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. The boundary is for your health and safety; saying “no” to a request isn’t mean in and of itself. It’s okay to say “no” when you need to. Your reasons for saying “no” are valid. When you prioritize your reasons to say “no” instead of worrying about someone else’s reaction to you saying “no,” you can enforce any boundary you need.

Unfortunately, people will act in ways that don’t respect your boundaries. No matter how often you try to say “no,” they may continue to try to satisfy their needs, or worse, their needs may negatively impact your own. When you experience a boundary violation, redefining the boundary and possibly even escalating your response is up to you. Just as they decided to ignore your boundary, you can make your own choice to reinforce it more firmly. Regardless, you still don’t owe anyone an explanation. If anything, it’s the perfect time to decline for secret reasons.